Refresh yourself, be open for new ideas and powers. Don’t be scared to create more than you can imagine.
the call -
tugging the heartstrings
with persistent nudges
inducing slight inquisition
the caller -
sitting on the throne
with sovereign reign
commanding full awakening
the called -
decoding the contexts
with a distraught soul
imploring the definitive
anchorage, stability, prospect - it became the irreducible, rock-bottom reality, the ultimate negotiating chip of husbands and wives, parents and children, siblings and friends. the detractors form a bias in condescending tones. what they fail to realise, in the spiritual context, this calling, much like speaking in tongues, is a sacred relationship that is unique to the caller and the called. thus, it is highly probable that the encoded message can only be heard, felt and understood by the called. they said, “it could be treated as a side project” or “it is not self-sustainable, especially in the long run”. doubt sets in. questions, charged with shock and disbelief which escalated into full inquisition, are starting to waver her out. the gap between outward docility and inward frustration and confusion widens. she lived in a double-truth world.
doing simple stuff together, like you eating your favourite california pistachio nuts, while i’ll be daydreaming.
"hey, check this out", you prompted. i replied, "oh, that. i was reading that last night. halfway through i went to watch some yakuza documentary. then i forgot to go back to that article."
you caught my struggling attempt at multi-tasking; i was taking a long time to peel the shells of the hard boiled eggs while being engrossed in an online article, featuring the confessions of a duke university porn star.
unabashedly, i teased, “so you were observing me all these while huh.” and you coyly denied, “come on, i can see you at the corner of my eye. why do you have to take that long to peel an egg? if i were you, i’d have done this. so inefficient!” his gestures made me laugh. “i’m being really delicate with it. it’s a girls thing. and besides, i have time! just waiting to graduate. ya ya ya, efficiency…”
i took a random glance over your facebook newsfeed.
"hey, since when you’re friends with xxx! my ex classmate leh"
"your friend, my friend."
"woa woa WOA did you just make that comment? WOAA"
and we both crackled in fits of laughter.
you’d do your programming, i’d do my art and craft. we’d do our daily readings and sit side by side in comfortable silence. you’d remember the details so damn well, synthesising the concepts with ease, while i’d probably remember vaguely in shades of understanding. your eyes would light up when you talk about science and technology. and you’d see mine, too, when i ramble on about my profound experiences with people. i’d marvel at your ability to grasp knowledge so quickly. i wished i was able to comprehend fully those stuff like you could. but hey, at least you shared, which indicated that i’m in your inner circle too. God must have blessed people with different gifts for a reason- to glorify him in different ways, but fundamentally for the same purpose.
we’d laugh at silly things and act stupid together. yet when the mood sets in and if situation calls for it, we’ll reveal our deeper and darker scars and secrets; those trials and tribulations that have been metamorphosised into resilience, a test of inner strength and character.
"thanks for the prayer bro."
"i felt i had to do it."
unabashedly, you’ve got my heart and i’ve got your back.
once joy is done with her examinations, it’d be full strength. but very soon after, it’d return to the weekly cycle.
my solace, my inner circle.